wish # 1: a reflection

Wishlist #1: ~i just want that person to care enough about this relationship to want to work on it~
* im tired of wondering What If, i want to know What is.
* she's got me on a cynical pedestal and you in Her arms, and heart.
* different temperaments, oh well, bite the bullet!
* never been this emotional and sentimental, last was with Emylyn.
~ you commit to this wedding, and then it seems like there's this momentum, and then you forget you chose it.
~ if you love someone, you say it. you say it right then, out loud...otherwise the moment just-- passes you by~
* i didnt even search for it...she just came along, and i felt, "wonderful!" eversince.
* the weird blasphemy of synagogue is..." She deserves Me????"
* and yet the point is, when was the last time she opened her mouth using her truthful tongue? why is that i always..no ive chosen a blurred path to happiness, a supposed dreamer, again. and i chose not to compare the past "Emylyn" and the present.For Her: I never lost her, because for one, I never had her. and never will.
* pulling off my left ovary, surgically speaking, meant one sign. if im about to move on, i have to work it with my right ovary, right decision, right values, right beliefs, right heart, right mind, right faith, with the right deserving person this time. cos its my final chance and im tired :(
* Question is : Save for Later or Delete?
~ This too shall pass~
* another cliche another phrase of wisdom, and i wanted my emotional cells to do it!!
~ i am crazy to fall for someone i hardly knew,
* and i am always like this. cos @ the back of my mind, i go, if ive known this person in and out, then there wouldnt be enough reasons to spend my entire life, discovering her. there wouldnt be enough surprises and challenges to change and risk for a chance, and she would probably be just one of my friends.
~ you fill up my senses
like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime
like a walk in the rain
like a sleepy blue ocean
Come Love Me Again
~ Got a Minute? "What's Up?" I have to say this quicker or Ill just have this massive coronary and then youll never hear it and you have to do.This is by far, the dumbest thing Ive ever doen in my entire life. So dumb, that i cant..but im gonna.. I love You!!! I realized this comes at a very inopportune time
* Kimmy - her ----------------- Michael - Popoy ---------------- Jules - tin
~ shy tendril of russet pleasure, began their unbidden journey. the tonnage of years of anguish, sacrifice, mingling with --
* what the heck?!
~ getting what you deserve is, isnt fair
* no one's chasing me :(
~ underhanded despicable not even terribly imaginative things
* after-almost-math, i realized my present heartache and break is almost like, My Bestfriend's Wedding
~ Luckily, i woke up and i see, that the world is just as it should be.
* i am the present Susan Hayward:)
~ you think what the hell..life goes on!
* i am a shooting butterfly, things to ponder: do not read her texts over and over again, damn it! neither save, even the ones you sent! stupid!
* ill pretend my ship's not sinking
~ i wanna know more than your brain
* would anybody know if i am but a beck-and-call??
~ dont get emotional when you turn tricks
~ stay numb dont get involved, * have to be like a robot, just do it!
* Heavy pens never been my fingers' friends. especiall parker. fine ones are :). now as you read autobio journal, i lay my thoughts in different strikes. the bottom line is: find the one that will bring out the best in you :)
* fidget - i love acting it with her
~ ive never had anyone make me feel as cheap as you did today
~ bad stuff is easier to believe
~ people put you down enough, you start to believe it
* 10minutes ago, i was crying gently, but i kept on saying err it was like removing a stuck fishbone in my chest. I HATE YOU!I hate you, i hate you i hate you i hate you! inhale, exhale, and then hate's all gone! i started to think what happened to her.
~ love it or hate it - if they love it they will always love it if they dont they may learn to appreciate it but it will never become part of their soul.
* good morning, and so i spoke to her. even if i wanted to let her know what my real thoughts are, upon hearing her sicky voice, oh well, give this girl a break! and then, while having a morning debate with her, i thought about the impaired Taurus-Gemini relationship. most of what ive read in Google search said, the only hope is the long endurance of a Taurean cos this two-faced Gemini will always highlight her social life, a natural flirt. Maya told me that too. I wanted to hear her voice because i wanna know if she's okay than yesterday. plus i needed my money due next tuesday, and i wanna know if my heartbeat is still the same or descending, depleting.. that inital thrill is Dying???