Cleaning Time

another round of 365 days,
hala, closing na lang me basura pa...me tira pa.

shet, kelangan ng iimpake ang mga kalat at ibalik sa me ari.
kaso mo aabutin pa ren ng aftermath ang balanse.

kasi, ang bulaklak ng bibig.
kulang naman sa pagpapatupad.

naway makatakbo ang 2008 ng wala ng bahid ng pinakamalaking Trash Bag.

P.S. pakisama na ung mga surot at abubot na nilulumot, isama sa pagbalunbon ng Basura ng 2007.

Que Sera, kairita!
Kirara!
Kungdi lang masamang manumpa!

Hay pangit, karimarimarim salubungin ang Bagong Pag-asa na me isusumpa ka pa
Kaya huwag na lang.
Bahala na si Batman at Robin magtie up!

C'est La Vie!

yakult

me blog nako about this e.

pero highly recommended ito sa mga me bad bacteria sa isip, sa puso at dila.
tamaan??wala akong pakialam kung ma-guilty kayo.
kung ako sa inyo uminom kayo nito.

false minds..false words...
kung ano ano pinagsasasabi...
kung makapanghusga...

lalo na dun sa mga two-faced egocentric mammals.
sama mo na pati mga 3-tongued chuhuahua look alike
hahaha

leche.

blanko

sa sobrang na-drain ang pasensya ko
hindi ko alam kung naniniwala pako sa pag-ibig na yan

nasa-id ng isang walang katuturan ang pagkatao ko
at gusto kong buuin ang sarili kong nabasag
upang maging buo at karapat-dapat
para sa isang taong nalagyan ko lang ng bookmark

ang tanong lang dun, me pag-asa pa kaya
hindi rin naman ako umaasa
lahat, mula ngayon, susunod na lang ako
sa ihip at takbo ng mga sitwasyon

one day at a time, hindi puwedeng laging isang buhos
nakakatuyo e, nakakasagad ng kalooban
ung bang pag me gumising sa katauhan mo, hindi ka na halos makabangon
nakakabobo yun, nawawala pati ang identity at sense ng pagkatao mo

ayoko ng planuhin ang mga takbo ng pangyayari
susunod ako sa agos, ayoko ng maging dominante para sa kinabukasan
makukuntento nako sa pagharap ng kasalukuyan

walang asa-asa, walang baka-sakali
walang expectation, walang sakit
walang hope, walang something to look forward to
kung ayaw huwag, kung gusto...
hmm, dapat sigurado ka na
at buo na ang sarili mo, na walang takot at pagaalinlangan
kasi alam mo, pagod na pagod na pagod na ko.

Swing the Conscious to Unconsciousness

Hear this,
people especially those who have moved on.
while the other teams haven't, yet.
(this is ridiculous! consult me first before anything else.hehehe!)

do not oblige yourself to commit revenge
while you're so aware of what has been happening still,
while you're so Certain about the continuous lies and scandalous mishaps
due to a trying hard hopeful union.but the truth is, it is really irreconcilable.

so for further lies and disappointments,
some will remain NUMB
others will TALK.

BELIEVERS,
oh crap, Chance wont hurt you know!
But let yourself feel some Changes.

For those who have moved on, like me
and yet still experiencing this dark shadow's tail,
let it pass through your ears,
but never be Deceived.

okay?!
now, Let's Party!!!!!!!!!
New Year, New Hope, Better Individuals!

E 3: Im Sorry

I'm Sorry
Moonstar88

I'm on my way
With my roses and box full of sweets
I had it all, memorized the lines in my head
Thinking I'd be winning your smile
Once again

heeey...

But when I saw you
I realized how I am ashamed of myself
My mouth has failed to say the things i just can't express
Afraid to say things I might regret

heeey...

Chorus:
What is there to do when I did something wrong
I didn't mean to hurt you but it took so long
To say I'm sorry
I'm sorry

Say you won't ever leave me down
Say you won't ever leave me down
Say you won't ever leave me down
I'm sorry

Repeat Chorus

Say you won't ever leave me down
Say you won't
Say you won't

Say you won't ever leave me down
Say you won't ever leave me down
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

Almost but not quite.

i was in an almost coma position
a lazy morning with red, tired eyes
and an almost-about-to-explode skull of drained braincells
like a dripping crumpled wet towel inside a wooden pail

almost screaming but not quite.
i held myself to compose.

pray. and wait with patience and trust.
everything's possible when you give yourself to Him.

now i say to myself,
twas really a silly dream to see yourself counting those multi-colored capsules
and swallow them all.
how sick and selfish you are,
without thinking of other possibilities.

Geez, there is really a factual miracle.

and i wonder again, will these expected guests be greater than those unexpected ones?
what a disastrous rock n' roll wake time to look forward to.

Ellys Part Two

~Naglakad lakad ako pagkatapos, sa sobrang hindi ko alam kung pano ko maipapakita ang appreciation, mula sa pinanggalingan ko pinihit ko ang mga paa ko papunta sa lugar ng mga may tindang bagay na puwede kong ibigay, panukli sa "mahabang Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyy Salamat..." isang patunay na anak ako ni Lord! habang hinihintay ko ang pagkakataon na makapunta talaga ako sa aking tatahakin..siguro nga senyales yun,ng maabala ako ng dahil sa usap na yun.~ sa aking pag uwi at pagmumuni-muni, naisip ko lang, baka mas mabilis at Mabisang paraan ito upang maiparamdam na ang kabutihan ng tao ay taos-puso kong pinasasalamatan. baka maantala pa ang mga naiisip ko. ~
~ Hay, hindi ko na alam kasi kung paano maipaparating sayong nabunutan ako ng malaking bara sa dibdib ko, laking luwag sa paghinga! sa wakas, maipipikit ko na rin ang mga mata kong walang pagaalinlangan na maantala~
~ Siyempre pa, nauubusan na naman ako ng malalalim na Tagalog kaya, eto na lang muna~

You Didn’t Have To

Thank you for what you did;
You didn’t have to do it.
I’m glad someone like you
Could help me to get through it.

I’ll always think of you
With a glad and grateful heart;
You are very special;
I knew it from the start!

By Joanna Fuchs

Oblivious

~matagal ko ng gusto ang beat at lyrics ng kantang to. pasikat sila ng mga panahon na yun, ewan biglang nawala. tawag ko to sa sarili ko pag nahihibang ako. pag mejo unmindful ako sa landas na tinatahak ko.ahhh...ewan pero nagmuni muni ako kanina. ang dami ngang nasayang na panahon.me tamang tao na kasi e, di ka pa nagpakatino. kainis ung mga ganung eksena! e di sana hanggang ngayon kayo pa! so...What now?! mas okay na saken ung ganitong set up. walang nageexpect...wala lang. ang importante intact ang communication. kuntento nako dun. dun man lang makabawi ako.mapakita kong nagbago ako. at may kakayahan talaga akong magmahal naman.tama na pagiging selfish. its time to face the Game of Fate~


to be continued...di ko mahanap lyrics ng Oblivious song e.hehehehe

Kanta ng mga Fools

Di Kasi
Artist: Moonstar88
Album: Todo Combo

LYRICS

Di mo lang alam, mahirap mag-isa
Akala mo ganun ako kasaya
Di mo lang alam, ako’y nagsisi na
Ayoko nang maulit pa ang nagawa

[Chorus]
Di kasi ako sa’yo naging tapat
Di kasi ako sa’yo naging tapat
Ayoko nang mag-isa

Di ko nga maisip kung bakit ganito kasakit
Ang mapunta ka sa iba
Di kita masisi kung bakit ka ganyan
Malamang ako din ang dahilan

(Repeat Chorus)

Unti-unting natutunaw
Unti-unting lumuluha
Unti-unting giniginaw
Sa’yo…

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Poems

Emotions tend to fill every line of a poem
and it can pull you down
uplift your soul
deny your hidden pain
be with you all the way
carry you around
make up your mind
split the circumstances
define you as a human
what else can a poem do?..an emotional poem, that is.
mine, i think, are senseless, dissatisfied compositions.
caused my worth to be meaningless.

~naisip ko lang.take note nauubusan nako ng ingles~

on top of a hi rise building

i stepped my bare feet on its gutter
i looked around and down
i almost embraced myself, and then i sighed, "if i fall, will i crack my head?"

how does this Cold Season sound..to me?

an almost but quite blurred opportunity.
half-filled container of my favorite fruit salad.

to be continued..

empty victory means..

"Being an imbecile to opportunities,risks,chances and changes means nothing but an empty victory"

~ Christine - Dec.8 2007~

. this is my realization against silence; and surviving by playing your life, safe.

Charlie and the rest

(Linus walks past, dragging his blanket. Snoopy puts a paw on it.)
Linus : Get that paw off my blanket, you stupid dog or be prepared to suffer the consequences! (Snoopy obeys.)
Snoopy: My life is full of unsuffered consequences...

=========================================================

Charlie Brown: Next year I'm going to be a changed person.
Lucy: That's a laugh, Charlie Brown.
CB: I mean it! I'm going to be strong and firm!
Lucy: Forget it... you'll always be wishy-washy! (she leaves)
CB: Why can't I change just a little bit? (shouts) I'll be wishy one day and washy the next!

Peanuts' quotes for Me

Auugh! I've been kissed by a dog! I have dog germs!

Get some hot water!

Get some disinfectant!

Get some iodine!

Peanuts
Lucy Van Pelt

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
Peanuts
Lucy Van Pelt

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves and then we have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.
Peanuts
Snoopy

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.
Peanuts

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm Happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?.
Peanuts
Snoopy

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Defining RAIN by Peanuts

Redeemed.

ko na ang sarili ko.

tama ang advice ko sa kaibigan ko,
kailangan ng konting kahihiyan at respeto sa sarili.
konting prinsipyo...
kailangang maiangat mo ang sarili mo at maalagaan mo ng tutok,
upang maramdaman mong mahal na mahal mo ang sarili mo,
bago mo ibahagi sa iba.


magtira ka ng para sayo.
hindi pagdadamot yun.
pagBabalanse ng buhay at emosyon ang tawag dun.

kung hindi, mahihirapan kang bumangon sa bawat pagsubok na darating sayo.

magaan

blankong blanko ako. napulot ko na ang sarili ko.bitbit ko na lahat, buo nako, halos.
ang problema ko na lang kung ihahakbang ko ang paa ko paatras o pasulong
gusto ko lang makasiguro.
at ayoko ng balikan ang kahit na anong mahahapding napagdaanan ko.
kasi naman no, mahirap manumbalik sa sarili na buo, at kayang ihayag sa mundo na,
weh no kung nagiisa ako sa mundo.
weh no kung wala akong lablayp.
weh no kung wala akong kaakap sa Pasko.
ang importante ay kaya kong mag-isa,kaya kong itaguyod ang sarili ko.
kaya nga kailangang maipirmi ko na ang mga paa ko. na isang pares lang sa litrato.
naka-tsinelas, walang katuwang, ngunit kumpleto at hindi baliko.

sa lamig ng disyembre

nakarinig ako ng isang pagak na tawa. makunat na halakhak.
halatang peke. halatang punung puno ng kalungkutan.
iyon ang tugon sa akin ng nangarap akong tumawa.

at naisip ko lang, napapangiti ko pa kaya siya?
napapatawa pa ba kita ng totoo?
nasasamahan ba kita sa pamamagitan ng mga walang kabuluhang mensahe?


~ tanong ni Joke kay Juan~

im a happy soul

from NatalieDee

Ellys.

This is my stand about having and after having a relationship.

"While in the process of making the most out of it, love and value the foundation
and how you handle the present time.
it's just that sometimes a person needs to bloom, unleashing the best she could do and give,
and shit happens, 'emotional congestion'? "
and when it's about to end, do not be ashamed to ask and think.
as you want to close that chapter, wallow hard, and have some red wine.
yet place a bookmark if you're not totally sure if you really want it to end ."

it doesn't mean you need not to continue your inner growth as you surpass puberty,
after several relationships, a big realization can still occur.

people make mistakes. some tend to swallow some long time principles.

believe me, there is what we call Change and Chance.

I like these thoughts

1. “Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough.

Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away,

and move on to something that's more productive.”

2. “Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.”

3. “What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate.”

4. “I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's were the fun is.”

5. “Experience taught me a few things. One is to listen to your gut, no matter how good something sounds on paper. The second is that you're generally better off sticking with what you know. And the third is that sometimes your best investments are the ones you don't make.”

~ Donald Trump~

Famous lines from the movie One More Chance

Sometimes you have to break up in order to grow up.
It takes two grown-ups to make a relationship work.
~ Mark~

She loved me at my worst.
you had me at my best,
yet you chose to break my heart.
~ Popoy~

Ipikit mo ang mga mata mo
para di mo makitang nasasaktan ako
~Trisha~

Sana ako na lang, ako na lang ulit
~Basya~

i wont cry

She Won't Cry

by Jppoet

You see the pain that lies in her eyes, But, alas, her eyes are dry, She won't cry. No, she won't cry. You see the anger that burns from her gaze, The madness that sets her eyes ablaze, She won't cry. No, she won't cry. You see the fear that closes her eyes, The smile she wears is but a disguise, She won't cry. No, she won't cry. You see the hope that is finally dead, She cannot trust for her heart has been bled, She won't cry. No, she won't cry. You see the love that lies within, But she shall never love again, She won't cry. No, she won't cry. You see death's hand that has glazed her eyes, No one saw her die inside, They won't cry. No, they won't cry.

Sometime in everyone's life, they feel betrayed and all alone, like everything is a lie. You are trapped in a world of anger and rage and you can only see red through your eyes. No one seem to see when you are going through this time, or understand why.

But it is times like these that God takes you in His arms and tames your wild mind and assures you, you are never alone.

If These Walls Could Talk

by Christelle Duvenage

If these walls could talk, you'd know my body is dead, my mind has been taken over, that's why I am so scared, I can't control it, anger is making me blind, I've been left here on my own chained to a hate of some kind. If these walls could talk. If these walls could talk, you'd know about my fears, about all those nights I screamed for help, about all my fallen tears. You'd know about the demons haunting me at night, you'd be able to help me keep my fire alight, if these walls could talk. If these walls could talk they would say that it's all right, God sends His angels to look over me at night. They'd encourage me, say though I am alone it doesn't mean I‘m on my own. He watches me, from above and showers me with all His love, if only these walls could talk.

heartache quotes

Let no one who loves be unhappy... even love unreturned has its rainbow.
~James Matthew Barrie


Yes, I will go. I would rather grieve over your absence than over you.
~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.
~J.K. Rowling

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
~Charlie Brown

My joy was skipping
Around our love
It tripped.
~Valentine Sterling

It's not love's going hurts my days
But that it went in little ways.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay

I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt
to lose something you never really had.
~From the television show The Wonder Years


Maybe part of loving is learning to let go.
~From the television show The Wonder Years

I am tired, Beloved,
of chafing my heart against
the want of you;
of squeezing it into little inkdrops,
And posting it.
~Amy Lowell, "The Letter"


Ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear that
you don't feel the same way for me...
the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me,
I can't force myself to stop loving you.
~Author Unknown

Don't worry about losing.
If it is right, it happens -
The Main thing is not to hurry.
Nothing good gets away.
~John Steinbeck, 10 November 1958

If we must part forever,
Give me but one kind word to think upon,
And please myself with, while my heart's breaking.
~Thomas Otway

Love is like a puzzle.
When you're in love,
all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken,
it takes a while to get everything back together.
~Author Unknown

With what a deep devotedness of woe
I wept thy absence - o'er and o'er again
Thinking of thee, still thee, till thought grew pain,
And memory, like a drop that, night and day,
Falls cold and ceaseless, wore my heart away!
~Thomas Moore



Relationships are like glass.
Sometimes it's better to leave them broken
than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
~Author Unknown

When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness;
instead keep your head up high and gaze
into heaven for that is
where your broken heart has been sent to heal.
~Author Unknown

Sadness flies on the wings of the morning
and out of the heart of darkness comes the light.
~Jean Giraudoux

I thought when love for you died, I should die.
It's dead. Alone, most strangely, I live on.
~Rupert Brooke

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak;
sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.
~Author Unknown

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime,
and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay


final comfort that is small, but not cold:
The heart is the only broken instrument that works.
~T.E. Kalem


Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again,
skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.
~Author Unknown


God is closest to those with broken hearts.
~Jewish Saying


God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces.
~Author Unknown

sometimes.

you thought you're at your worst,
then suddenly, as you focus your eyes and soul on that 25inches box type of entertainment,
you'd say,
how lucky i am not to experience that.

you'd feel good about yourself.
and that stupid heartache is nothing but a trash and waste for your soul to worry about.

no fat chance

you were not able to know me more.

because you wouldn't let yourself in the first place.

no deeper excavations being made.

because you packed your shovel and gear to do it.

and now i say, i thought you went inside my circle.

it was just a big joke.

completely clueless, about who i am.

and i dont want to know more about you.

a human without substance.

as The Real Brrr enters.

I'd like to cut my 'Ber-fever with this phrase,

"My first words might have been Splendid followed by almost Regretting everything,but from these,Ive picked a stronger piece of me."

I've asked for Honesty and nothing but the Truth,

and all I've got was,

Deception and Camouflage of Lies.

Have some self-respect and a pinch of Dignity.

It's a great feeling to do a comeback, for myself and the Real people for me.



There should be sunshine after the rain.

Thanks Garland!

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more
problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our
possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and
hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to
life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer
space but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air,
but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold
more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less
and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one
night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer,
to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the
stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time
when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going
to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to
you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your
side.

Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you because that is the only
treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember,
to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all
mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep
inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday
that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak
and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Youth and Youngness

wish # 1: a reflection

Wishlist #1: ~i just want that person to care enough about this relationship to want to work on it~
* im tired of wondering What If, i want to know What is.
* she's got me on a cynical pedestal and you in Her arms, and heart.
* different temperaments, oh well, bite the bullet!
* never been this emotional and sentimental, last was with Emylyn.
~ you commit to this wedding, and then it seems like there's this momentum, and then you forget you chose it.
~ if you love someone, you say it. you say it right then, out loud...otherwise the moment just-- passes you by~
* i didnt even search for it...she just came along, and i felt, "wonderful!" eversince.
* the weird blasphemy of synagogue is..." She deserves Me????"
* and yet the point is, when was the last time she opened her mouth using her truthful tongue? why is that i always..no ive chosen a blurred path to happiness, a supposed dreamer, again. and i chose not to compare the past "Emylyn" and the present.For Her: I never lost her, because for one, I never had her. and never will.
* pulling off my left ovary, surgically speaking, meant one sign. if im about to move on, i have to work it with my right ovary, right decision, right values, right beliefs, right heart, right mind, right faith, with the right deserving person this time. cos its my final chance and im tired :(
* Question is : Save for Later or Delete?
~ This too shall pass~
* another cliche another phrase of wisdom, and i wanted my emotional cells to do it!!
~ i am crazy to fall for someone i hardly knew,
* and i am always like this. cos @ the back of my mind, i go, if ive known this person in and out, then there wouldnt be enough reasons to spend my entire life, discovering her. there wouldnt be enough surprises and challenges to change and risk for a chance, and she would probably be just one of my friends.
~ you fill up my senses
like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime
like a walk in the rain
like a sleepy blue ocean
Come Love Me Again
~ Got a Minute? "What's Up?" I have to say this quicker or Ill just have this massive coronary and then youll never hear it and you have to do.This is by far, the dumbest thing Ive ever doen in my entire life. So dumb, that i cant..but im gonna.. I love You!!! I realized this comes at a very inopportune time
* Kimmy - her ----------------- Michael - Popoy ---------------- Jules - tin
~ shy tendril of russet pleasure, began their unbidden journey. the tonnage of years of anguish, sacrifice, mingling with --
* what the heck?!
~ getting what you deserve is, isnt fair
* no one's chasing me :(
~ underhanded despicable not even terribly imaginative things
* after-almost-math, i realized my present heartache and break is almost like, My Bestfriend's Wedding
~ Luckily, i woke up and i see, that the world is just as it should be.
* i am the present Susan Hayward:)
~ you think what the hell..life goes on!
* i am a shooting butterfly, things to ponder: do not read her texts over and over again, damn it! neither save, even the ones you sent! stupid!
* ill pretend my ship's not sinking
~ i wanna know more than your brain
* would anybody know if i am but a beck-and-call??
~ dont get emotional when you turn tricks
~ stay numb dont get involved, * have to be like a robot, just do it!
* Heavy pens never been my fingers' friends. especiall parker. fine ones are :). now as you read autobio journal, i lay my thoughts in different strikes. the bottom line is: find the one that will bring out the best in you :)
* fidget - i love acting it with her
~ ive never had anyone make me feel as cheap as you did today
~ bad stuff is easier to believe
~ people put you down enough, you start to believe it
* 10minutes ago, i was crying gently, but i kept on saying err it was like removing a stuck fishbone in my chest. I HATE YOU!I hate you, i hate you i hate you i hate you! inhale, exhale, and then hate's all gone! i started to think what happened to her.
~ love it or hate it - if they love it they will always love it if they dont they may learn to appreciate it but it will never become part of their soul.
* good morning, and so i spoke to her. even if i wanted to let her know what my real thoughts are, upon hearing her sicky voice, oh well, give this girl a break! and then, while having a morning debate with her, i thought about the impaired Taurus-Gemini relationship. most of what ive read in Google search said, the only hope is the long endurance of a Taurean cos this two-faced Gemini will always highlight her social life, a natural flirt. Maya told me that too. I wanted to hear her voice because i wanna know if she's okay than yesterday. plus i needed my money due next tuesday, and i wanna know if my heartbeat is still the same or descending, depleting.. that inital thrill is Dying???

i have to admit to myself this time

you found love in a very unexpected inopportune time. things happened so fast, you couldnt even stop your adrenaline to go up.every little incident was in a rush and drastic combination, sudden and young, without noticing you were engaging yourself in a turmoil, with a complete stranger, a soul-less individual who hid her true self by her powerful convincing words and false feelings, an almost devil in disguise.


and after realizing and praying and hibernating,
i now say, IM STUPID!
of believing her.
Puke all about her! Ewwness is my word.

Regret is what i have in mind.
But then again, i learned.
And I am not sorry for what happened.

Quiet

Baby says I can't come with him
And I had read all of this in his eyes
Long before he even said so
Why go, I asked
You know and I know why
And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything

Take care
I've been hurt before
Too much time spend on closing doors
You may hate me, but I'll remember to love you
Goodbye
Don't cry
You know why
And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything

All the waves of blame arrange as broken scenery
As they steal your best memories away
What if I was someone different in your only history?
Would you feel the same
As I walk out the door
Never to see your face again
Never to see your face again

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
It'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything to change when I leave

reason why

"Reason Why"
Rachael Yamagata

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend out days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
And we can hang out heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

I'll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or whatever I find my place
I'll track you on the radios, and
I'll sign your list in a different name
But as close as I come to you
It's not the same

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
As say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

So, steal the show, and do your best
To cover the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind,
But you only showed my the door

So, I will head out alone and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I, you and I know the reason why

Collide- Rachael Yamagata

I’ll fascinate you for awhile
My hands in wait to please, so well
When I wake to realize, all I’d done
I’ll be breaking strings
And all you’re gonna feel
Is undone

I will not stay if you ask me to stay
Do not ask me to stay because I will not stay

Why do we always collide
Stuck onto different sides

You resignation, don’t simply file
Its not imaginable(???)
Your love
What I wake up to find
All I’ve done is unkind
All you’re gonna feel is untied
Untied

Why do we always collide
Stuck onto different sides
Why do we always collide
Stuck onto different sides
Why do we always collide
Stuck onto different sides
Why do we all
Why do we all

worn me down

"Worn Me Down"
Rachael Yamagata

Gone, she's gone
How do you feel about it
That's what I thought
You're real torn up about it
And I wish you the best
But I could do without it
And I will, because you've worn me down
Oh, I will, because you've worn me down

Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
But you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her

And you're wrong, you're wrong
I'm not overreacting
Something is off
Why don't we ever believe ourselves
And I, oh, I feel that word for you
And I will, because you've worn me down
Oh, I will because you have worn me down

Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
But you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her

She's so pretty; she's so damn right
But I'm so tired of thinking
About her tonight

Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
But you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her

Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told to me to do
But you, you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her

Be Be Your Love-Rachael Yamagata

If I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel

Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
Want to be your everything

Everything...

Everything's falling, and I am included in that
Oh, how I try to be just okay
Yeah, but all I ever really wanted
Was a little piece of you

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

Everything will be alright
If you just stay the night
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

I want to be your love, love, love

and everybody's growing up

As we grow up,
we learn that even the one person
that wasn't supposed to ever let
you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably
more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too,
so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things
an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast,
and you'll eventually
lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures,
laugh too much, and love like
you've never been hurt
because every sixty seconds you spend upset is
a minute of happiness
you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.

and time flies

soon.
this saga may linger but will eventually close its book.
as your soul moves on,
you will Soon forget to get it from the shelf,
and flip its pages, back,
and read.

because your soul gets tired of learning...err..containing it.

I dont deserve these insults

Oo na, nang-agaw na ko.nakisiksik.nakisawsaw.name it. lahat ng Naki! poootah! pero yung hanggang ngayon apektado paren kayo ng issue na yan, nakakahiya na siguro sa part nio yan! at mind you, hindi ako nageenjoy sa panlalampasong ginagawa nyo.

what...

i wander around..ponder some thoughts.. ..suddenly i got these lines.

" i was just wondering, if I stop to ask What If?......

................Cos I want to know What Is?...."

One more chance

eto ang weird..sa gabi desidido ka na. move on kung move on. no more ninth chances of having back everything you've lost.. but no, at isa pang no, talaga naman in the morning..napapawi.although sumasagi sa utak mong, baka may kailangan pa sayo kaya hindi ka pa kayang pakawalan.at ang weird, pag umaayaw ka na ..me biglang tanong, "so you are giving up on me?" tas pag sobrang kulang na lang ligawan mo..hah! matuwa ka na kung magreply ~ mga tipong " i just need some space and time for myself"..buti kung me response, e pag wala..

para kang nawawala sa madilim na tunnel na wala man lang dalang flashlight.

ang hirap nga, ung magkasama kayo pero dama mo, hindi ikaw ang nasa puso niya.

minsan nga gusto ko nang itanong, sino ba ang naiimagine nia pag hawak ko ang kamay niya? ako o ung sumasayaw ng Hula?

from tito carding

Forgiveness is being shown and seen not only by saying it, nor doing it ----feeling it from within.

Trust

if trust is one of the most important components in the list of emotions, how come very few can actually be responsible in valuing this?

do you really believe, that one's trust is broken, all aspects fall and fail?

why do you need it when you already have love and acceptance?

i dont understand. and yet and i swallow it hard to retain it.

but im knocked out within my consciousness.

i.

i asked for hope. ~ He let me met you
i asked for a sign.~our chance came through
i asked for love. ~ and there was you.

but.

i asked Him everything ~ I have asked too much.

tick!

most minds are great...because we have felt.

damdamin

ang hirap no..ung alam mong talunan ka..kahit sang pasikot sikot ng larong ito.talo ka! at ang pinakamasakit dun, yung bang kinakaya mo pa, kahit na ang sarili mong budhi,sinusuka na ang lahat lahat sa kanya.

dahil kahit kelan, hindi ka niya talaga minahal.natuwa lang siya sa mga pangyayari.flattered lang siya at siya halos ang nauna mong ipagmalaki sa pamilya mo.

hindi totoong malayo nararating ng utak ko, na sobra akong mag-isip! kasi sa totoo lang, nararamdaman mo muna bago mo maisip. hindi totoong nagiisip agad bago mo talaga makuha ang lahat.

hah, baloney! totoo naman pala lahat!at syempre pa, napahiya mo ang sarili mo sa lahat, losing even your self-respect!

ang buhay ng panakip butas

gusto ko lang sabihin, hindi lahat ng panakip butas ginusto ang buhay nato. minsan kasi hindi mo nararamdamang ikaw pala ang tinutukoy ng titulo. akala mo naman kasi isa kang prinsesa, isang ang pag-aakalang pag-ibig..kahangalan!

akala mo okay yun kasi pakiramdam mo napapasaya mo talaga siya. akala mo hay nako puro akala. nabubulag kasi sa kahibangan!

sinking down

it's been a week. and still i haven't played the rightful song.i have been emotionally paralyzed and things are falling apart. i wanted to see God this time, i owe Him an apology. i always take Him for granted. i always neglect to perform my vows every time i get preoccupied by a special someone; someone i thought would shower me with utmost love. and then suddenly, all gone.

because i think im rushing so many things in my life. i think of how old i am, i get stressed with the idea that i will grow old with no one beside me. and when things like this happens, i turn into God. and then id ask Him again, are You tired of me?

this time every little detail was a big mistake. and then i did pause, wasn't it love?or was it just a wild infatuation that i thought i felt a deserving love?

i...dont know anymore.

i hold on to God, and i just love Him the most.

im sorry God, im so so wrong every time.

am i still breathing?

am i still breathing?
even for a fact that i did not intend to steal someone from a friend.

am i still breathing?
even if i was too certain that i was looking for complications and troubles.

am i still breathing?
it takes two to tango. and when the love triangle fell apart, she walked away and said that she needed some space.

am i still breathing?
that since last time we never communicate like we used to. mainly because we all got hurt.

am i still breathing?
cause my soul got stuck a little. and i felt my heart turned into a big stone.that when we last held each other's hands, I felt numbness in my nerves, no thrill, no electrifying sensation within.

am i still breathing?
cause I just want to get out from this routine, the world I used to live with eversince she came into my life.

am i still breathing?
cause seriously, I want to move on, and continue living.