Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My BOY-friend.

i do believe that we all need some male friends..having a boy friend doesn't mean you have to show or demonstrate a Feeling neither instigate a certain Attraction towards that person. It's the company that you want to maintain; and the brotherly love you Platonically enjoy!
But sometimes, as most of my closest tongues would say...Once Jealousy appears, the weaker side of that almost standing Foundation...crashes, thus the start of a Never Ending battle of Pride and Issue.

"Sigh, kill those wormcells!"

Friday, December 19, 2008

Iba pa rin ang may foundation

I know, and I do admit that I DID flake for several times; made last minute decisions not to proceed because of too much slacking, and really, because of SAYING YES without DOING IT.

I owe my 'long time no see' friends - a bucket of explanations and SORRYs. And I have missed them a lot...hell lot! But because at times, when you're inside your comfort zone and you have an easier access to your closest network, you tend to DEPRIORITIZE those Significant people who: have really touched your life especially during your Honing years: People with warmest smiles.

It really is hard to establish yourself -- your whole being to a lot of people; the fact that you have to start a foundation with a pool of different personalities, needs most of your effort and time. But when you get to see your OLD ONES, there's this feeling of 'i belong', and that makes you feel, HOME: When you get to share laughters and insights to such faces - who are always there not just to listen, but who would be more glad to sleep and wake up with you without any marks of doubtful thoughts and lying intentions as to why they wanted you to BECOME ONE OF THEM.

I am just Glad to reunite myself to THEM.

Thank you Friends.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Never play with a Vacuum Cleaner

Never ever get sucked by a vacuum cleaner. It confuses you with the law of reciprocity. If I were you, I'd rather deal lonely with a company of dirt and dust than try to be happy with a hoover that belongs to a somebody.

I shut my Door of Hope last Wednesday

It was the day I burned a lot of stored tears and calories.

The day I tried my best to be an adult in front of a corporate crowd.

The day I asked myself, "How far should I go? How high should I hope? For I've always been a lax to expectations."

The day I chose not to answer a text, cause I called. I felt professionally betrayed for a few hours. Til I got a call about a shivering news. It was one of those moments that My own Sheltered Self had run out of energy and strength. That most of them forgot that I also needed someone to hold on to. They thought I could swim the 7 seas in a forever lap without stopping.

Yes, I starred myself as a Wonderwoman, and lost it in One Unexpected Slap.

Thanks for all those who have unrecognized my worth and stay.

This day had scarred my sense of being.

The last straw of hope lost its hold and left me Coated, Hidden and Pained without being Healed.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

2008 is indeed a Break Up Year

. a year where most promising relationships were put into waste.
. mostly those couples i once wished - they'd stay that way.
. and of course the hope ive been keeping for so long. i said goodbye to her a couple of weeks ago, the time i was really down with flu.
. and this heartless month, most of those i wanted Not to leave...will be gone next year.
. and so i ponder and internalize, will it be another Break Up year this 2009?
. me and the blunt reality.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Leave...my world.

My mind was actually forming a blog type bubble thought. The worst emotional scene happened last night. PITY, i didnt gain any knowing how stupid i was last night. Nawala ata ang pagiging critical thinker ko, to the point na i was still waiting. Tanga, boba, ang utak ay nararapat pulutin sa legs... Una sa lahat, hindi na kasi dapat nagpunta pa, pauwi na kasi bakit nag-u turn pa.

Ganyan talaga, and for the longest time, nasa state of mask and denial pa rin...and still hoping. kungdi ba naman ubod ng Gaga at isang kahangalan di ba?!

I thought I really gave up on you. And that i have really moved on, to the point of trying a new (pumalpak din!) relationship... and to the maximum level of changing my views, my path, my preference.

Pero the greatest temptation talaga yung isang tapik lang, lilingunin mo agad.

I have to let go na.

Daig ko pa yung nabugbog last night, considering na I was crying while walking in the rain. Punyetang eksena yan, pampelikula lang yan dba?

Wala nakong mahugot na words...pero suwak ang kantang to.

"My Immortal"

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Friday, September 26, 2008

KP?!

Nagiging pangkaraniwang terminolohiya na sa akin ang salitang KP. Para bang isa kang mabuting anghel na bumaba sa lupa kung hitik ka sa KP. Hindi dahil sa bilang mo ang bawat salita at galaw mo, kung hindi mas malamang sa OO na angkop, Safe, Empathizing, No closed doors for opportunities ang Casual mong pakikisalamuha.

Iniisip ko nga kung minsan, isa itong learned behavior - na puwedeng:

- tipo ng upbringing sa iyong kinagisnang tahanan ?

- sa workshop for sure ituturo yan (hehe!)

- sa GMRC subject?

or hindi kaya, posibleng makita ito sa DNA ng isang tao..it runs in the blood ika nga.

AKO AT ANG SARILI KONG DEPINISYON: depende yan sa mood ko. isang joke meaning tungkol jan is KP - for KaPlastikan, true to the half-meant joke, and i dont have to cite sample situations about this. Two, it comes out naturally on me, wag lang i-extra push kasi para saken, yun na ang kaplastikan. hahahahaha!

I dont think it's a norm. teka, sorry very broad pala ang meaning ng Norms.

So, sige nga, how will you REALLY define KP?

(me continuation na'to, nauubusan nako ng KP hehehe)

Guys are vain but that doesnt mean they are Gays!

I used to think that only us women, criticize and compare our private belongings specifically how big, how small, its texture and its enhancements and shapes. Then i thought wrong! So wrong, that my 2 male colleagues proved it as their Celebrity gossip went along.

A famous 'with a huge baggage' cage player went to a shower room. He saw his colleague, "i think" naked, and he enviously commented that his colleague's package was larger (??) or more confident than his.

Like who would ever thought, or im just too a baby for a male story?!

And yes, this is not a gay talk but actually a guy thing :)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Excuse is always unacceptable

It's like everyday there's an obnoxious excuse for being late, and the truth is,any excuse is considered unacceptable.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Boring

Ino...bogoshiphaeyo.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Here's where the story ends by Sundays

*** Ive been looking for this songs for ages...eto lang pala title nito, lints....***

People I know, places I go, make me feel tongue-tied
I can see how people look down, theyre on the inside
Heres where the story ends
People I see, weary of me showing my good side
I can see how people look down
Im on the outside
Heres where the story ends
Ooh heres where the story ends

Its that little souvenir of a terrible year
Which makes my eyes feel sore
Oh I never should have said, the books that you read
Were all I loved you for
Its that little souvenir of a terrible year
Which makes me wonder why
And its the memories of your shed that make me turn red
Surprise, surprise, surprise

Crazy I know, places I go
Make me feel so tired
I can see how people look down
Im on the outside
Oh heres where the story ends
Ooh heres where the story ends

Its that little souvenir of a terrible year
Which makes my eyes feel sore
And who ever wouldve thought the books that you brought
Were all I loved you for
Oh the devil in me said, go down to the shed
I know where I belong
But the only thing I ever really wanted to say
Was wrong, was wrong, was wrong

Its that little souvenir of a colourful year
Which makes me smile inside
So I cynically, cynically say, the world is that way
Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise
Heres where the story ends
Ooh heres where the story ends

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Awakened during a hurried escapade

Men will undoubtedly exist like women. I am just not sure with the figures but HOPE will help us survive in believing that there is equal fate for everyone.

That makes me LESS persistent in achieving who I cannot have.

But it's okay.

There are still Big fishes in the ocean :D

Monday, August 18, 2008

All for Tara Santelices

LET'S ALL PRAY FOR TARA SANTELICES

Word spreads around fast and almost everyone has already heard about what happened to our dear friend, Tara Santelices (Assumption Antipolo’s Batch 2003 and Ateneo de Manila University’s Class of 2007, AB Political Science).

On the eve of her 23rd birthday, Tara was shot in the head during a hold-up while riding a jeepney along Imelda Avenue, Cainta, Rizal. Joee Mejias, who was with her at that time, rushed her to Amang Rodriguez Memorial Hospital in Marikina City. The parents of Tara and Joee arrived at the hospital shortly thereafter. When morning came, Tara’s parents finally decided to transfer her to the Medical City, Ortigas Avenue, Pasig City. Since 8:00am of August 6, Tara has been in the ICU fighting for her dear life. Her parents have decided not to push through with the operation.

Although it might seem that there is nothing else that we can do but wait for Tara to wake up from this horrific nightmare, we, the friends of Tara, have decided to raise funds for Tara’s hospital bills. This is the least we can do to ease the unbearable pain her family is going through. We have been given the go-signal from Tara’s dad, Tito Larry, and here are the details:

The temporary bank account is under Anne Marie F. Santelices, Banco de Oro, SA 2140-062201. For direct cash donations, please proceed to the ICU Waiting Room of the Medical City (Ortigas Avenue, Pasig City). Please look for Joee Mejias or Lila Santelices.

Any amount will be gratefully accepted. Anonymous donations are also welcome. Please spread the word. Forward this to your family, friends and even to everyone else you know. Please post this on Friendster, Multiply, Facebook and wherever else you can think of. Please send group messages on Yahoo Messenger. This will mean so much to us, her friends.

Please continue praying for Tara, for Joee and for both of their families. If you want to come see Tara, visiting hours at the ICU are at 9:00 am to 11:00 am and 5:00 pm to 7:00 pm.

Thank you so much for your time and kind consideration.

For inquiries, please contact Joee Mejias (09228154987) for calls and Jac Ledonio (09167243071) or Myka Francisco (09163695148) for text messages.


TARA FEST

We, Tara's friends and family are trying to raise funds for Tara's medical bills. It is also to uplift the morale of Tara and her Family. Please support our events for Tara.

Thank you for your support.

August 9 (Saturday)
Bela Bar - Skies of Ember, Rubber Inc., Elemento, Carnival Park, Archaster, and more. (more details on dotternus.multiply. com) 9pm onwards
70s Bistro - Coffeebreak Island, Lady I, Chongkeys, Unitiima. 9pm onwards

August 11 (Monday)
Mag:net Bonifacio Highstreet in cooperation with RockEd. Feat: Pedicab,Imago, Rivermaya, Gasulina, Unitiima 6-9pm only
Ten02 - Skies of ember, Scarlet Tears, Names are for Tombstones, The Bernadettes, The Late Isabel, We Nocturnal, Aurora Borealis, Dayuhan, Fuseboxx, La Luna. 8pm onwards

August 12 (Tuesday)
Mag:net Katipunan - Gang Badoy's Birthday (Open to everyone and will also be a fundraising event for Tara)

August 13 (Wednesday)
Freedom Bar - Nyctinasty, Kidzpool, Dayuhan, Sters, Chubibo and more. 9pm
Souk Cafe, Dasma Cavite - "I EXIST for TARA" EXIST artists. 8pm onwards

August 14 (Thursday)
Bela Bar - Electronica and Experimental Artists
Route196 - Chillitees, Cambio, Gasulina, Project 2, Hija, and more.

August 15 (Friday)
Route196 - Terno Inferno for Tara. All Terno Bands. 9pm.

August 16 (Saturday)
Route196 - Open Mic (acoustic) and Open art exhibit for women. Organized by Lunduyan ng Sining and F.A.M.E.
Mogwai Cubao X - Organized by RockEd. Feat: Radioactive Sago, Juan Pablo Dream, Cambio, Gasulina, Shift, Chillitees
Nine Mile - 420 Party.

August 25 (Monday)
Route196 - slots open

September 6, 2008 (Saturday)
HERsHE presents: “WOMEN Give Back” An Exclusive Party for a Cause at RATSKY Bellagio square, Tomas Morato, Quezon City.

Other venues without final dates yet:
Big Sky Mind
Saguijo
Club Dredd
Gweilos Makati

Other events/groups:
NU107
Jam 88.3
Magic 89.9
RockEd
Terno Recordings
F.A.M.E
Lunduyan ng Sining

Please Spread the Love for Tara. Thanks.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Hate to escape but...

hate to escape this obnoxious fact, but this is it folks, I just waved goodbye to womanism (hahahhahaha maniwala na kayo!). Ive been wanting to write a blog about this never-gonna-happen reality, but yeah...hell yeah..

i went to a blast party for women last saturday..i tell you it was hella good! i enjoyed it, (khet wasak na actually!). so went to mingle and saw some good faces, kakilala man or nagpakilala lang...pero ang heartbeat...NORMAL lang!

walang certain aroused feeling inside..steady lang! as i left the party, with the Schumacher type of atras-abante ng Starex, i waved goodbye to the used-to-be preference.

it felt good though, while still On-line and kicking with a Downelink account,



all for friendship and wholesome interaction na lang talaga!


cos the traffic lights told me to go Straight and move forward. :)

Less Baby Talks, Less Inis

Sa totoo lang mejo nabibingi na yung mata ko sa mga ganitong terms:
q - for ko
co - for ko
*** - ganitong etseBURATseng signs
~~~ - at eto pa


isip ko lang kung ako ay isang highskul-er or college student (pasintabi na lang at kanya kanyang opinion ito), sobrang baby talk sa'ken to.

kaka-irita lang minsan.

me ganito sa Real World e: gusto ko na ngang tanungin..
"Aba'y nasasapian ka ba ni Sto. Niño?" (Sori po Sto.Niño)


turn -off lang.

Hope people will somehow..Grow Up!

tumatanda lang talaga ako, naks, matured!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Dear Ina

Yup, nakuha ko ang text mo last Friday, boarding ka na pabalik ng Pinas...nagtaka ka kaya kung bakit I wasnt moved at all. Dahil sanay nako. Sa maraming beses na halos ganun lang ang communication natin. Text lang ang katapat ko. pasalamat pa nga at nauso iyon.

At ang weekend ko na sana ay iisang event lang ang inaasahan kong dadaluhan, naging Anim ng dahil sayo.
Dapat lunchtime ako gigising ng Sabado. Ngunit hindi, pinilit mo kong magbyahe from my place to yours ng 4am ng umaga. (buti nalng isang boteng beer lang nainom ko sa Pepeton's).At pagkatapos ano, para sabihing buti naman nakarating ka, mamaya ka na matulog at kelangan tayo sa kasal ng 7am..upang ano, pakantahin ako sa liblib na Chapel sa laguna?at maging host sa reception pagkatapos.
Cge, para sayo, ok lng saken yun.So salamat sa damit at sapatos, at konting idlip sa van mong malamig. Hindi pa pala natatapos ang bonding natin. Sinamahan pa kita sa amiga mo para magconcert na naman ako kasama ng quartet sa Ascott. buti nalng at nakaligo't toothbrush at make-up ako sa bahay mo,at ang sapatos ay slip-on, naitago ko ang toenails kong 1week ng walang proper pedicure.
So finally, we're back at the Fort, at pinasalamatan mo ako uli. "Nak, thank you lagi kang anjan pag kelangan ko ng singer!" Bukas uli sa Tagaytay Highlands, 1 kasal 1 club party at Singaporean party ang dadaluhan natin.
Daig ko pang nakidnap - dahil ang isang kidnapped, nagagawa pang tumawag sa bahay. Samantalang ako text lang ang katapat.
Alam mo kung ano laman?
"Pa, andito ako sa Essensa, alam mo na kung bakit. pag nagtanong c Ma, pakisabi, next week nako uuwi at andto ako kay...

Ninang."

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Twas nice letting go..

Twas nice letting go of ALMOST liking the associated character of Shin. not to cope up with that waiting pain, neither a defense..its just that as days prolong the anticipated agony. people surrender.

one of them is Me.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Complication Magnet

Complication Magnet (salamat Peej sa phrase)

Kaya naman pala kung makatawa ako sa movie na Get Smart
Kaya naman pala for some unusual reason na-crop and modified ko ang picture mo na tila pang eternal rest
Kaya naman pala iba yung feeling, di ko gets pero i wanna stop from letting it to happen...
........Hay bago pako tuluyang magEnglish at ma-Fall...
I'll enable my defense mechanism...
* Shy Away
* Civil mode again
* Kung walang kabuluhan at di ka yayaman sa usapan, deadma okay
* Bading siya Tin... bading!*


Eto kasing Persian Cuisine na'to e,
Eto kasing Kape na'to e,


O cge na nga, magigive way na lang ako


Ampf naman talaga o. Ba't ba kasi me Monique and Annika characters. Istorbo talaga sa diskarte, epal! Bad Trip! Parang napre-emp ang pagbubulaklak ko, kung kailan ako nagdadalaga!

Maktol kung maktol.
Hay nako, ang hirap i-express pag blanko utak mo.

Ps. pampalubag loob -- bading sya Tin!

Kanta ko ke Oppa

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo
Hanggang dito lang ako, nangangarap na mapa-sa’yo
Hindi sinasadya
Na hanapin pa ang lugar ko
Asan nga ba ako? andiyan pa ba sa iyo?

[Chorus]
Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ‘ko sa ‘yo? asan ba ‘ko sa ‘yo?
Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ‘ko sa ‘yo? aasa ba ‘ko sa ‘yo?

Nasusuka ako, kinakain na ang loob
Masakit na mga tuhod, kailangan bang lumuhod?
Gusto ko lang naman, yung totoo
Yung tipong ang sagot
Ay di rin isang tanong

[repeat Chorus]

Dahil, ‘di na makatulog
Dahil ‘di na makakain
Dahil ‘di na makatawa
Dahil, di na

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo
Hanggang dito lang ako

[repeat Chorus]

Nahihilo
Nalilito

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Taiwanese vs Korean novelas - eklavu!

So ano nga pagkakaiba ng Kkorean and Tawainese novelas?? Lets call them K and T:

- Matiisin pareho ang mga babae, pero confronting and mas humaharap sa katotohanan ang K. Ang T kasi, ang tagal i-confront ang lalaking gusto nila. Mas childish pati ang character ultimo pananamit, walang growth from T-shirts and skirts and sneakers kasama pa ang backpacks!. Ang K naman, flashy and fabulous ang damit. although punahin ang mga uniforms sa school, Uniformed nga! parehong clumsy mostly ang roles, pero mas tamed and nakikita ang improvement sa Ks, close to reality ika nga. Less tantrums pati as scenes go by.

- Ang perseverance pareho pero mas prangka ang words ng K, direct to the point. ang T naman pag nagbitaw ng salita, isang bagsakan ang emosyon, pero tagos at no holds barred nga. hilig pag me love letters talaga.nax naman!

- Mas open sa kissing scene ang T, well sa naobserve ko lang sa dme ng opportunities ha, ang K kasi, andun na, sabay embrace lang pala ang eksena. pareho Shy type ang atake ng woman's character re: sex, provoking naman ang men. At napupuna ko lang, mas maraming "caught up by circumstances" ang K pagdating sa Wedding indications, sa T kasi, nariyan lagi na ang lalaki sa kanila ang nagbibigay motibo about Kasal.

- Mas matagal ang process ng everlasting love scenes ng T, ang K mabilis : first scene, hurtful, next scene, amendment method na. At ang pagddaydream or insertion ng "pangarap na bituin scenes" - mas matagal ang T, ang K kasi, either looking back or wishing-wishing lang. In the same manner, pareho paren nagfafantasize!

- Sa lalaki - aminado ako mas close to perfection ang pagka-hunk ng mga T, ang K, kung di mo pa talaga sisipatin at hahanapan ng angle, bilang sila actually -- kaya lang once they deliver their characters, pucha, laglag panga ka! in their showbiz worlds, mas marami ang incident reports na bading ang mga T kesa sa K.

- At ang development sa characters ng lalaki, ang T mejo indirect pa sa confrontations e, unlike sa K, sigaw ng emotioness ito!

- Pero dahil nga sa stigma ng "Shin" factor (based sa character ng Prince sa Princess Hours), parang pare pareho ang projection ng male roles: Suplado, antipatiko, astig, pride, ang tigas ng decision making chorva, stylish, laging nakakaangat sa buhay ang statusquo, mahilig sa sports, at magdrive ng cars, matalino, spunky, swabe ang kissing method, powerful lines, against the norm and old beliefs pag about love and principles na paguusapan, to the rescue sa women of their lives, laging me third party sa eksena, walang pakelam kuno pero laging caring and attentive - in short in denial pa sa feelings! Pathetic talaga! Pakipot epeks! - sabagay, khet sa female roles me pakipot mode din

- laging me cake, coffee and tea session sa eksena, me aso sa setting, me kama moments, me pababa or pataas na hagdanan and elevator moments din, nakaboots pirmi ang babae - at me makapal na jackets pa, nakajogging pants at ang di mo maintindihang form of hair braid or minsan pa, kulot method! hehehe!

- eto pa, lagi na lng me engagement ring! Anover! lagi ring sagabal ang nagiilusyon na third party both sides, laging me jumper sa female clothing, me dangling earrings rin at big blouse or knee high na dresses, me leggings hehehe!

- ang female ika nga, boyish to total transformation effects! me haplos sa buhok scenes, me caress and hagod sa pisngi scenes, laging nakasigaw (kakarindi!), Me Sorry and Thank you moments - lagi pramis! Me pagpapanggap roles at pagkukunwari especially sa part ng Girl!

- eto pa, me Sick scenes, me embrace and kiss scenes (mawawala ba ito?), me Snow (dyusko san ang 7 dwarfs!), me bathroom scene (walang patid!), me eksena sa Taxi, cguro coding sila hahahahaha! me gift giving moments, me Goodbye, me amnesia pa minsan

-- Lastly -- happy ending malamang sa mga gusto nating magkatuluyan sabay salitang....

Gua ai ni ( in taiwanese version, tama ba?!) or

Saranghaeyo (in korean)

a basta me I love you.

yun na.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

my happy problem

and so it's being told, been shaking this confusion off my head, but it lies within my knotted cerebellum, my arteries have a huge space to accommodate the thrilling reality of almost falling. Instigator? -- my being hopelessly romantic that i have attached myself to some awakening series of romance and sarcastic opportunities. and defense mechanism in the form of denial, is what i need.

Ang lalim no? akala mo naman ang laki ng problema ko. Ganito pala ang feeling ng sudden tranference. it's a bit similar to what ive been through with my pasts, pero dahil "a bit" nga lang, me nakakapanibago. One, it's related to a person who is so far, "unattainable to have". Two, he's a..... i just said the enormous word....HE! this is so unusual for those who have known me for what, years and ages ago, and people i've been unfolding my insanity.

So feeling the fever of what i have been currently watching (actually excessive times of watching!), i am trapped in the sequel of the main characters involved in the story, and so is he! My horrible dreams are slowly crawling inside our real world. Days, months and years before dreaming romance with him, there had been unanswered, questionnable Whys and Whats.

So let me ask you, these are some samples you may want to assess. What if you encounter this type of person:

- Me certain Dresscode for you!

- who would extremely makes you realize that you finally learned how to comb your hair!

- who would give you such blunt and stubborn acknowledgements

- who would make a sudden pop in front of you, tell you anything new then before you respond, disappearing act na

- subukan mong sagutin ang tawag niya: 3 bagay lang maririnig mo: either boses lalaki ka, umiiyak ka ba or bat galak na galak ka (Ampotah!)

- who would recommend for you to see a dermatologist, maybe it's about time to have a facial cleaning (Grrrrr!!!!)

In short, kung paramihan ng Asaran and Bangayan Scenes, count us in! We'll definitely win the award.

Hay...but my own humble world is too colorful to splash more hues and spices. Leave it as it is, bawal ang assumptions, "could-it-be" thoughts, and Hoping "maybe-s". Unacceptable ang "malay mo" and "dreams can come true".

Phase lang ito, lilipas din ito, nagkataon lang ito, at tutuldukan ko na'to. Tama na si Jannelle naka-jackpot ke Gian, at Qiang Xin ke Zhi Shu. Iba to, dahil in real world, hindi ko linya to.

What's bothering me though is the fact that it might be a pleasant surprise to me, but one life's direction is..a continuous form of change.

and i tell you, I am walking towards that path.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Taiwanovela vs Koreanovela (mga addict lang makakaintindi!)

I. The evolution of my obsession and segues

Sa dalawang ito, ewan na lang ang masasagot ko! E halos kasama na talaga sila sa routine ko no! mula ng isilang ang Meteor Garden, at nagka-Lovers in Paris, nahumaling nako sa pagsubaybay sa mga ganitong klaseng palabas. Hindi man sabay sa bigkas, at least man lang ang facial expression swak sa Tagalog dubbing.
Nagsimula lang naman maging obsession ko ito ng nauso sa paningin ko ang pirated dvd - complete series nito. mejo late bloomer pa nga ako kse sa My Girl ako ngstart (kung di ko pa natutunan sa officemate ko yun). Well kung beginner ka sa larangang "English Subtitle lang buhay ka na", aakalain mong walang kwenta ang Korean o Chinese audio version. Pero by and by, pag nasanay ka, keri mo ng intindihin ang common words nila khet anong alphabet version pa ginagamit nila sa pagsasalita.
Sa totoo lang akala after ng My Girl, titigil nako sa pag-invest ko sa mga lintek na dvds nato. but to my surprise, me nagustuhan na naman akong romanedy, Kim Sam Soon actually, ayun tuloy-tuloy na.ultimo mo series na hindi pa pinapalabas sa tv,basta kilala ko na ang artista papatusin ko na.
Ang nakakainis lang sa sarili ko, major to nth power late bloomer nako sa pag-appreciate ko ng "Princess Hours" (dba nakakatawa!). Tulungan nio nga ako, ano ba kasabay nito at hindi ko to sinubaybayan sa Dos?!Jewel in the Palace ata kasabay nito e. Kung hindi pako na-persuade by friends' advices and positive comments, hindi talaga ako bibili nito. Nangingimi pa kamo --- or siguro plus factor na rin na napagkakamalan kong iisang story ang Princess Hours at Prince Hours (isa kang tanga Cristeta!).
Ang walang kabuluhang kabuuan lang naman nito e, dumami na collection ko (mostly ang basis ko e yung artista ng series shown in Ch. 2, at isa from Ch.7. Mind you, pati dvd films basta me hilarious na film, pinapatos ko na!
Anover?!!!

II. Eto promise me Sense na Review na to

Anyway, kasama sa ilalathala ko ang comparison sa pag-atake nila sa plot, character development, dialogue impact, (grabe na leveling ko nito!) pati na ung mga favorites ko hehehe.

(to be continued..hahahah sabay ganun, mamaya na,trabaho muna ako)

Monday, June 9, 2008

repost 3

Internalizing

I felt numbness inside my chest

my clock stopped after 1030,

lost interpretation,the fact i was really thinking

as if an awakening phase

...suddenly i dont know a princess...
..or is my physique interrupting?







lesson learned: wag mag-i love you kung di mo naman talaga gusto sabihin.




a dying sycamore tree by Tin 1220am

a narrow cell

you come to know your sin

but its not as if committing a crime

the day you said perished, dry red wine

soaked the silk to blood,lay your braids to mine

with wings unfolding, yet the chain deprives you to freedom

you tried to escape, that tiny hole of light

as you slide, gearing down

crystal blade blinded your husband's eyes.

repost: remains of my former Downelink life

the sign

Before i didnt know... i asked myself..why would i still wait for my plane while hers went ahead...the parting ways in a huge airport was hard, tough...i didnt wanna look back and scream her name. i wanted to say goodbye with no tears at all for i knew it was just temporary.that we would be seeing each other again...

i never knew it was an indication...

kung alam ko lng...hindi na sana kme umalis ng Hongkong..

have a lot of things to say, and also to share with you guys. i have learned a lot of fruitful, practical, and do-able lessons from this retreat called Life's Direction.




Sometimes you have to fill up your spiritual bottle to believe in yourself and clear your mind

------------------------------


09/01/07 04:11 AM

playing with so many infatuations

lunes - Kiligers! naalala ka ng isa sa gusto mong umalala sayo; akala mo Instigation of something to look forward to



martes - ikaw ang mag-first move ng Hello, after 4 rounds of asking kung kumain na and what's up, ni ha ni ho...mapuyat ka man sa kakaantay,either isang matipid na "K" or wala kang makukuhang response



miyerkules - nalalabing paraan, mageemail ka na, magpapa-miss call ka pa, either it'l keep on ringing or, cannot be reached and yeah, Busy na sya!



huwebes- makaramdam ka na, simulan mo ng isiping Dis is d end op wat u tot Was samteng els. pero syempre eto ka, "baka sakali-last-na-talaga!" effect..



biyernes- magising ka na oy! Dedma na nga e, isipin mo nalng once in a blue moon ka lang talga maalala..o super worst na nga, "nag-drop by to say hi lang talaga" no more, no less hehehe



sabado - nagdadasal ka pa rin na sana maulit pa ang una at huling araw na naalala ka, pero Ning, ano ba?! since sabado night naman, iinom mo nlng yan.keri na dba?!!



linggo - tip ito ha, ipag-mass mo nlang at balang araw magiging "may that soul goes to heaven" sana sya.hahaha! bagong Week na naman ang haharapin mo.go shopping, go out and check the grocery. walk around with your dog. have a good cup of coffee.pag-uwi mo, prepare what you'll be wearing since me pasok na. dont worry, lilipas din yan.



p.s.



malay mo, me bago uling makaalala. hahahahha isang linggong pag-ibig na naman ang ib-blog mo!

------------------------------------------

kung nangangamba ka na di kita maiintindihan
kung nag-iisip ka kung kaya kong suungin lahat
kung nagdadalawang-isip ka kung gaano ako katibay
kung marami kang "KUNG" sa isipan

isa lang sagot ko sa lahat,
mahal kita
kaya kahit ilang beses mo palitan ang iyong mga plano
andito ako
hindi ako maghihintay...kasi parang mas angkop ang UMUNAWA
hayaan kang mag-isip, bigyang laya para mas panatag ang daan ng pag-iisip


kasi pinanghahawakan ko ang sinabi mo nung isang gabi

kahit hindi tayo magkasama, hindi ka nagte-text o tumatawag, o kaya'y nagpaparamdam
lagi kong isa-isip na ako ang naiisip mo

... at mahal mo ako :-)

remains of my former Downelink life

perfection to obsession

RIGHT ATTITUDE AND CRAFT~should be before you pursue a career
MASTER AND RECIPE~learn and improve
MEASUREMENT AND INGREDIENTS~secret to a lasting taste
MOLDERS & SIZES~ important to a more sensible cut
TEMPERATURE ~ to have the right output
MIX & BLEND ~proof of your ownership
SIZES & SPACE ~maximizing performance level
SENSES~can speak; and justify what you can offer
PRESENTATION AND STORING~ will tell you what product you can have

--------------------------


10/14/06 05:11 PM

me

i AM such an abstract.
a broken irony OF ALLsorts
A distorted LINE,a
scatteredpaint
a manifestation of AN OBLIVIOUS quest

sometimes...

sometimes its just your ego.sometimes its just your impulse. sometimes its just but your dirty doubtful mind.sometimes its just your drowning self-esteem. sometimes its just YOU and nothing else, no else.its all in your mind. clear it. then youll see trust. then youll find harmony....and true love. for sometimes pushing away people isn't helping you at all - to regain what youve lost; you tend to hurt those people you love; thus, you tend to lose all. stop depriving yourself...its just but a simple malpractice of one's defense mechanism. face it. cleanse your subconscious;wash away those insecurities; and malodorous guilt. be brave.act normal.just be you.and start to appreciate and love yourself.it'll be a good start to give,impart and share love. true people i love you.


01/14/07 01:53 PM

REAL SCORE ABOUT Long Distance Relationship




LDR is tough, when you're not responsible of your actions and how SERIOUS are you in dealing with your feelings towards the person.

cos we all know about doubtful moments, temptations, paranoia and all...


-to be continued-

---------------------------------------------------

I'm...

I see myself as the last thin thread of a knotted rope...
I am persevering but my patience is dangerous sometimes..
I do believe that some impossibilities are possible only if one is craving for a goal...
I once thought about the meaning of existence as an understatement of moarning cruelty...

----
I happen to slip and slide through greasy yet crooked tunnels of oblivion...

I... will go back to my work and will continue this once I find time to end this.


04/16/07 10:47 PM

Duh?

Don’t you?
Don’t we?
Don’t they?
Don’t I?

I sink you stumble, they fall, we are lost.

As long as ALL resorts to EACH
US becomes INDIVIDUAL THING

There will never be a TEAM
Neither having a world of Responsible Living Beliefs

Do Agree?

------------------------------------------------------------


05/08/07 02:20 PM

Taken for granted

i always thought that i am a good provider of care, love and trust. But i am not. and no one perhaps.


but you know i thought wrong again.cos the day i said my piece about dying and moving on , was the day i have found that provider. and i learned to go with the flow. i learned to dance and study the ways to be a good provider.

but you know again, in some cases you thought you knew it all, as if better than the one who walked and taught you such priceless lessons in handling a relationship.

the thing is, i wanted to go back to that learning process, in that Institution - with My teacher who is a good provider, myself, our support and God.and i will never never never get out of there.cos that's my home, with her.



God, im broken into pieces.

-------------------------------------------------------------


05/12/07 01:04 AM

Tee.

dear Tee:

remember you had a cute 4-corner devil choco cake topped with a seashell form-icing?with little candles,lit and blown by the one who owned half of your reasons to live?



please do think and look back, cos youll be the only person to re-acknowledge and rekindle its memory.



because youve been put into a coma?!the milieu left and you only have the other 1/2 of why you continue to exist, and you have to fight for your wholeness?



now if those 2 halves do not combine for you to be whole again,



remember the one WHO gave you that Life you are calling...



For birthdays are for everybody; and birth-day per se is to celebrate the day you were born and its purpose.



Love,
Me

--------------------------------------------------

a midnight weep

Sometimes it is hard to pursue a suspected failed dream

One day you’re eager to make things happen

The next minute you are out of your total balance

Sometimes it is best for you to sacrifice

Rather talk and wallow, regret the fact you can give up everything

When your sanity says, it is an absolute impossibility

Sometimes it takes time to heal wounds

Not all incidents are in the form of déjà vu

The truth in forgiveness is not a coincidence

So a “sometimes” may be different from a “some time”

It may be a better luck next time from an expired chance

Or a highlight of opportunities you need to figure out

or a set of passing reasons which may give you lessons.

You’ve got to break some lines

Uncover yourself from your comfort zone

Think of a selfless way to be happy

Ignore and deprive yourself from greed and agony

Accept the true meaning of the word “Past”

Because its existence comes out naturally in acknowledging Time.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Sex and the City movie trailer's Heartbreaking Song

"The Heart Of The Matter"

[originally performed by Don Henley]

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And all the struggles we went through
How I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm

I've been trying to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my heart is so shattered
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside

I wanna be happily everafter
And my heart is so shattered
But I know it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if you don't love me anymore
Even if you don't love me anymore

---------------------------------------------------

A soft tap from an officemate, a tear fell and some bits of goosebumps, there I go again...associating my private soliloquy...again....with this SATC movie trailer's background music..

The insensitive me ...


Thursday, May 29, 2008

swamped! yet nursing a painful memory

an old memory

forgotten..by her..but not me.

Monday, May 26, 2008

a Bading quote :D

Sometimes, we are eklabu with d chenelyn
of falling i love. Having the kemedu of having or missing
echoz. It is alryt 2 feel chorva thru other shomabels,
but don't get dependent on achieving tsimili ekek by being
with burirot. Chenelyn urself 1st b4 making chorva ur lyf
wid somebody coz if u dnt, u will always eklabumbum 4d
chinabels that u thin can make u chenez & in the end,
it will make u echoz urself more. CHAROT!

sa paghahanap ko ng famous line for my Tuesday mood

I saw my Got 2 Believe dvd last night.Syempre pa Favorite kahit lagpas 25years old nako, still I try to associate my present life to Claudine's "masalimuot na love cycle" sa movie. I was looking for her famous lines..Syempre pa, ang walang kamatayang ending line niya...

"YOU DONT HAVE TO SAY SORRY FOR LOVING SOMEONE..

YOU DONT HAVE TO SAY SORRY FOR LOVING ME"

at syempre na-recap ko ang tagos sa kaibuturan ng kadulu-duluhang walang hanggan na layo ng Toronto Canada sa Pinas....

"MARAMI AKONG TRABAHO, INUUBOS MO ANG ORAS KO. THE LEAST I EXPECT, BIBIGYAN MO KO NG SAGOT NA HINDI GALING DYAN KUNDI GALING DITO"

and syempre pa..lilipas na ang Mayo, hindi pa rin niya ako binibigyan ng sagot..or ayaw na niyang sumagot...so eto pa ang lines para sa mga undying and almost-dying hopeness...

HINDI KO ALAM KUNG ANONG MAS MAHIRAP. UNG PAG ARALANG MAHALIN ANG TAONG NAGMAMAHAL SA YO O ANG UMASANG MAMAHALIN KA NG TAONG MAHAL MO

&

BAKIT GANUN? UNG MGA MAY GUSTO SA KIN, AYAW KO. UNG MGA GUSTO KO, AYAW SA KIN

Wagi no?!

Gusto nio pa ng ibang famous lines habang nagka-cryola kayo with your watercolors at kume-krembula kayo sa sahig na mistulang rolling pin? o eto..paki-click na lang po ang link.

http://www.pinoyexchange.com/forums/showthread.php?t=304080

eto special message ko ngayon... latest lang from Papa Pi :)

I never got there.. :(

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

quote after an almost-happy birthday

the sad thing about goodbye is that you both wanted NOT to WALK AWAY, but the minute you've actuated to step back, she stepped on someone's foot and fell in love.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Birthday Tin...

Cake from Labora

It should be a happy one cos people around started giving gifts and wishes for you.

Hide your frowning face Tin. cos your family members and friends do support you.

Eventhough you felt like wallowing this 12 in the morning, because you are missing a piece of your puzzle.

Everything's gonna be okay. Just as long as you don't expect her remembering the time when she bought a small chocolate cake.. and celebrated your birthday in North Pole.

You will be happy again, in time.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

bertdey

lapit na birthday ko. feeling ko sisintensyahan ko uli sarili ko. Just like last year, same old feeling, same damn *ss situation same b*llsh*t!

ang lala no. kasi wala ng tatawag saken from Toronto Canada.

Tanga tanga ko kasi. hilig kong mamBalewala!

Tatawag kaya sya?

Text nyo ko ha. Hindi ko kasi magets kung bakit kelangan i-celebrate ang birthday e!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Confession

Naranasan nyo na bang um-attend ng mass na hindi naintindihan ang homily?

Sana naman marami na sa inyo ang ganito..at sana kumonti na ang mga pangyayaring ganito.

Kasi naman, ang hilig kong ituloy ang pagddaydream ko sa simbahan.

Gusto ko sanang sisihin ang ingay sa labas ng Aurora Blvd.,pero hindi e. Focus lang ang katapat kung gugustuhin mo.

Bale ba, hihiling pako ke Lord ng tulong. Sa pagddaydream ko ng perfect companion ko, nalilito ako sa gender ng gusto kong makasama.

Oo! Lalaki po ung gusto kong buuin sa dilat kong panaginip. Gusto ko yung eksenang susunduin,hahatid at tatambay sya sa bahay. Yung tipong busog sa happiness ang buong angkan ko kasi finally...yes! may pag-asa pa pala akong bumuo ng Ideal home!

At sa ewan ba at ok na sana ang mga eksenang tweetums at padate-date, biglang naiiba yung tono ng boses ng kasama ko. pati dibdib nagkalaman. lumambot ng onti ang mga braso-braso.

Yun na! Naiba na ang eksena. ang set-up, in-introduce ko siya sa mga kaibigan ko. Later on sa family, syempre indirect ang introduction sa ina't ama, ...." Ma, si ...." Sabay talikod yaya ng pagkain at maglaho sa paningin nila.

Ang weird dun, mas masaya ako sa huling eksena... Maya-maya'y, bigla kong naririnig na si Father...nagsesermon about the power of Holy Spirit, and 7 Sacraments, greeting the mothers....

Hay, isa na namang Mother's day ang nagdaan.

Ma-experience ko kayang maappreciate ang pagbati ng iba sa ken nun nang hindi nagbibiro.

Ewan ko. Pero parang hindi ako ganun kasaya kung magkatotoo yun.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

I'd like to.

While global warming shakes the globe, I'm having a moody yet awakening confusion.
Do I really Want a knight in shining armor holding a sword to guard and secure protection for the whole stretch of my lifetime...

or Is it more of a Need to have one because, it's the norm that i would want to be happy ...and yes this type of companionship can be my comfort zone.

Although my subconscious says...


...to be continued...

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Monday, April 21, 2008

The Sunday Gospel and The Monday Scripture

Dear Anak,

Naipadala ko na ang 50thousand pesos na pang tuition mo, pinagbili na namin yung kalabaw natin. ang mahal pala, COUNTERSTRIKE na kurso!

Wala na rin pala tayong mga baboy, naipagbili na rin namin, para sa sinasabi mong project, Nokia N75 ba yun? Ang mahal naman ng project mo!

Kasama din doon ang 7thousand pesos para sa field trip ninyo sa Mall Of Asia, malayo ba yun? Bakit ang mahal?

Isasanla pa namin yung palayan natin para mabili mo yung instrumento mong i-pod.

Napailaw ninyo na ba yung pinagpupuyatan ninyong San Mig Lights?

Sana gumaraduate ka na...



ITAY

(Thanks Anne for this wonderful and meaningful forwarded SMS message)

****The Sunday Gospel came from the book of John -

John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.


At that moment, my phone received a text message from Anne, and of course I didnt pay attention cos I was hopelessly helping myself to concentrate, and trying so hard to focus my reflection on that Sunday evening's Gospel. And it worked!

******Monday Gospel
Luke 24:13-35 - ON THE ROAD TO EMMAUS

25And he said to them, "O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26(AE) Was it not necessary that(AF) the Christ should suffer these things and enter into(AG) his glory?" 27And(AH) beginning with(AI) Moses and(AJ) all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.


We were grouped into triads to discuss this scripture last night. I was so into it that I even read Anne's text message to my groupmates. It was not an ordinary SMS. Its relevance to the said scripture was powerful and meaningful, for it was clearly citing a realistic example of How people tend to Recognize God's work and love for all mankind.


Nakakahiya no? We acknowledge God when we're down, when we feel that there is a need to question God about the burdens we are carrying.
Bad trip no?Cos not all of us do not fully understand the essence of Christ's sufferings, His death and resurreccion.
Kirara ka! If you wont read this and reflect on this. Learn to ask yourself , and share your most sensible opinion about this.












Wednesday, April 16, 2008

4 kinds of W stuff

The Power of Easter helps us to fight these 4 kinds of W stuff namely:
1. Worries (worry-ness )
2. Weaknesses
3. Weariness
4. Woundedness

and oh, this sharing makes sense....just forgot the complete explanation from our prayer meeting last Monday. next time.

Something light and funny :)

The quote was:" Kung may aaway, mananakit, aapi or magpapaiyak sayo....


BULLET OF THE SUN

I WILL GIANT YOU!!!!"


in tagalog..

"Balang Araw,ipaghiHIGANTE kita!"

Sunday, April 6, 2008

illegitimate

When i was young,

  • I used to think that being called as "adopted" was just a welcoming fad in our little neighborhood. I didn't believe the hear-and-says talks, who cares anyway, I was too confident that time. Cos till now I only have one answer, "No,just a menopausal baby! " My brother was 17, and my mom was 47, when the world welcomed me as a baby.

  • I used to mind keeping albums - pictures of moi and my so-called family. and I got tired of searching for my infant pictures, cos I didn't find any. Neither thought of asking my mom, my pops, "Where did you keep my baby pictures?"
  • I used to tear my pictures with my sister whenever we had our sibling fights, and I had a song for her that time, "I hate my sister, she's such a bitch, she acts as if she doesn't even know that i exist. but i would do anything, to let her know i care..." I tried to reach out, oh well, I guess we are better today than yesterday.
  • I used to hear our neighbors, even my mom's tenants, telling their own versions of how I came out - my real roots. My initial reaction was to run, away from their gossiping mouths! How could they...such a shame...till it became an undying whenever I hang out with my childhood friends.
  • I used to accept it, maybe it's true...maybe not. Til somebody took the courage to reveal the truth.i heard a lot of versions, and finally the truth, and i need a solid evidence.

Breast cyst aspiration

Do I need to see my doctor again after I have breast cyst aspiration?

Yes. If the lump in your breast is a cyst and the cyst is drained successfully, your doctor will want to check the area in 4 to 6 weeks to make sure that the cyst has not filled up with fluid again. This follow-up visit is important. A cyst that refills with fluid can be a problem. If you have a cyst that refills at any time, call your doctor.

Reference: http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/women/reproductive/breast/811.printerview.html

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Me makatwiran akong sagot sa tanong na ito

Pupunta ka sa isang 20-storey building.
Bawat palapag (floor) ay may guard.
Bawat guard ay kailangan mong magbayad ng kalahati (50%) ng perang iyong dala
At susuklian ka ng guard ng Piso.

TANONG:

magkano ang minimum na perang iyong kailangang dalhin
upang matapos mong marating ang 20-storey building, ay meron ka pang sukling 2 piso?

;D

si Feb

Ang kaarawan ko ay nalalapit na, ito kaya ay iyo pang maalala?
Maaaring hindi na,
pagka't andyan na si Feb.
Kapag ako kaya ay nawalan ng malay at nalaman mo, kakabahan ka pa kaya?
Maaaring hindi na,
pagka't andyan na si Feb.
Sa gimikan ang alak at sigarilyo ay nagbabadyang maging bisyo ko, paaalalahanan mo pa kaya ako?
Maaaring hindi na,
pagka't andyan na si Feb.
Sa umaga at gabing pagtatapos ng trabaho, itatanong mo pa ba kung ako ay nakarating na sa opisina o nakauwi na?
Maaaring hindi na,
pagka't andyan na si Feb.
Mahal pa kita, mahal na mahal mo ako...dati iyon, ngayon kaya?
Maaaring hindi na,
pagka't andyan na si Feb.

Si Feb si Feb si Feb si Feb.
dati ako ang ka-anibersaryo mo pag Feb, ngayo'y hindi na.
pagka't sinayang ko ang halaga nun,
ako ay napalitan ng panghabang buhay mo na atang ka-Feb.

Hawak Kamayan

Basta't lagi ko kayong kasama,
kampante ako na ako'y laging kumpleto
Hindi ko kayang mawala ang isa man sa inyo ni mabawasan ang kabuuan ninyo
Sabihin na ng iba, na ginagamit ko lang kayo
Alam nio sa mga sarili ninyong hindi iyon totoo
Sapagkat tuwing nakikita ko ang pagod nio sinusuklian ko agad iyon ng pag-aalala at hagod sa pag-aalaga
Minsan nga lang sa pg sumusobra, muntik ng bumigay ang isa sa inyo
Ngunit kaagad kong inagapan naman upang ang lahat ay bumalik sa normal.

Hindi ko kayo ipagpapalit kahit kanino, ang mga nagagawa nio ay pawang gawang-henyo ngunit pang-tao
Ang hirap at tulong nio...

sa pag-abot ng mga pangarap ko
sa pagdasal sa mga panalangin ko
sa pagsasagawa ng mga gusto ko
sa pagkupkop sa mga layunin ko

Ang lahat ng ito (iilan lang sa hindi matatapos na naisasabuhay nio),
Ay walang katumbas, sapagkat iilan lang kayong sinangkap ng Diyos upang ako (at ang iba pa) ay mabuo.
Kaya't, alam nio, alam ko, at ng lahat, hindi matatapos ang pasasalamat ko sa inyo.

Mahal ko kayo.


Friday, March 28, 2008

Premonitions...

"Shoo shoo..." a black cat had been walking to and fro, It scared me, and in a snap i thought of these people:
my Aunt,
then my brother-in-law,
the last was my friend's mom.
and another friend's mom...

Series of sad scenes began to roll in my head.. each person died after a month (or less) of praying for them.

Last Wednesday traffic was at its worst, as the cab driver tried his luck in passing through EDSA. as i looked on the other lane, a dreaming head began to say, " What if these cars bump into each other, creating a stretched line of "accidents"making it to the Guinness Book of World Records and Ripley..has it ever happened anyway?"

Went home that night, tired and counting sheeps to fall asleep, but because my TV was still on, CNN flashed a news about 72 cars crashed-and-bumped, some people were killed, on one snowy day.


....then i pray and say, i always tend to have a bad daydream.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

My piece for DianaJo

"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived." – Margaret Mitchell

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time - Sara Paddison

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. - Mahatma Gandhi

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wala ng babait pa saken hay nako!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Act of Confrontation: Baragan na


-----Original Message-----
From: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2008 4:29 PM
To:
Subject: RE: Hoy!

wala ako sinabi na since nag-usap tayo.

that acct is new, nagsto-store ako ng pics kc wla nko multiply. im deleting old accts. a oo ung c.w.me n lng pala un!?? dko gets?


-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2008 4:23 PM
To: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Subject: RE: Hoy!

hindi ko alam, pero one thing's for sure hindi ko alam kung me balak kang bumawi sa "damaged name" ko na bago mag-2008 i already left everybody and even dl cos i had too much of all the accusations and negative nonsensical issues against me. pero yung naging support ka pa..actually, di ko alam kung who's telling the truth.

another thing, sayo ang mylocolife.multiply.com right?!see, sinungaling ka!akala ko ba you dont check your multiply -- a oo ung c.w.me n lng pala un!

-----Original Message-----
From: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2008 4:10 PM
To:
Subject: RE: Hoy!

what i meant was, wala naman akong sinabi. ni hindi ko inention si dina sayo or kung sino man. di ba nga ikaw pa nagsabi na tama na kc 2008 na.


-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2008 4:06 PM
To: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Subject: RE: Hoy!


wow! wala na talaga? so talagang me nasabi ka pala??!!wow,wow, Grabe!!!!!!!!!!! after all the acceptance and chance ive given, talga naman!

uliran ka!
-----Original Message-----
From: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2008 4:00 PM
To:
Subject: RE: Hoy!

hayaan mo na. gusto ko na lang mag sorry kung may nagawa ako, pero wala na talaga akong nasabi about you.


-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2008 3:52 PM
To: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Subject: RE: Hoy!

e di makikita ko pa mukha mo, baka masampal pa kita!

-----Original Message-----
From: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2008 3:51 PM
To:
Subject: RE: Hoy!

wala ako ofc pero nagtratrabaho ako. oo, ihahatid ko na lang,.



-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2008 3:49 PM
To: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Subject: RE: Hoy!

pero nakakapag-email?hahatid mo dba?

-----Original Message-----
From: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2008 3:33 PM
To:
Subject: RE: Hoy!

wala ako sa office today. tom ako papasok sa rc. bukas ko na lang dadalhin ng morning.



-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2008 3:29 PM
To: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Subject: Hoy!

wer's my stuff?

cant even answer my call no?hay nako!style mo talaga nagtatago pag naglilie low.. you cant tame this raging anger you know! pocketful of shit for you!

Falling spaces


not all flowers bloom
not all raindrops fall in one's head
yet tears of a wounded heart keep dripping out of hand
if i were you, give me the just silent moment i deserve
keep distant and dont be too selfish
to understand that someone got hurt
while a starting couple is proud

this is just me.
i will deal with you
... once i have learned how to selflessly accept the fact that there will never be US for the second time around.

So please, leave.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Redundancy: empathizing through washing a deceiver's lace in the public

-----Original Message-----
From: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 1:14 PM
To:
Subject: RE: Read this, with high importance, click this Link i made for you

nung nag-uusap na tayo ulit, wala na din akong binanggit about dina and i didnt mention u too with her. wala na ako nakakausap sa kanila.



-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 11:40 AM
To: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Subject: RE: Read this, with high importance, click this Link i made for you

Wala akong pakelam sa pagiging Flaker mo at trademark mo na yan.

Ako ang nananahimik, sa lahat ng ginawa mo saken, i still gave you a chance to prove that you are worth keeping for..khet as a friend!
Pero tangna, tama nga sila, mag-ingat ako sayo!ako pa talaga siniraan mo ha!
Ang tagal kong di binanggit ang name ni DinaMarie, pero puro negative stuff against me pa pinagsasasabi mo! Expected ko na un, pero ung ipaalam pa sa iba,
TANGINA DJ, what have i done to you?!Nasira ko ba buhay mo because we've met!?

Simula pa lang to. di pako tapos sayo!

Ung galit ko ngayon sayo, nakadikit na sa laman. Bullshit ka!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Liar Liar Liar

-----Original Message-----
From: De Jesus, Diana Jo D
Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 11:31 AM
To:
Subject: RE: Read this, with high importance, click this Link i made for you


nanahimik ako C. wala akong ginagawa sayo. wala na ako downelink. wala na akong connex sa downelink.

=======================================================

I dont believe this liar.

Chismis na nakamamatay

ay ang katotohanan.

iisa-isahin ko ba,

no need to provoke me..

enough said na sa mga nagpatotoo..

na tama ang label ko sayo: "You're one devil's tongue!"

babalik ako ng downelink...

to redeem my name.

Sabi nga ni boss: "ke liit liit mong nilalang, ang dami mong nawasak"..but just to correct, hindi kami yun, sarili mo lang yun!

.......********hay nako, yeah yeah i know i may sound wasting my precious time, but PA-ISA lang, itataob lang kita!***********

Monday, March 17, 2008

Daydreamer

Daydreamer, sittin' on the seat
Soaking up the sun he is a
Real lover, makin' up the past and feeling up his girl like he's never felt her figure before
Her joy (..?)
Looks good when he when he walks, he is the subject of their talk
He would be hard to chase, but good to catch and he could change the world with his hands behind his back, Oh'

You can find him sittin' on your doorstep
Waiting for the surprise
It will feel like he's been there for hours
And you can tell that he'll be there for life

Daydreamer, with eyes that make you melt
He lends his coat for shelter because he's there for you when he shouldn't be
But he stays all the same, waits for you and then sees you through
There?s no way I could describe him
All I say is, just what I'm hoping for

But I will find him sittin' on my doorstep
Waiting for the surprise
It will feel like he's been there for hours
And I can tell he will be there for life
And I can tell he will be there for life

Finally got another song to describe the life im having

Chasing Pavements - Adele

Ive made up my mind
dont need to think it over
if im wrong i am right
dont need to look no further
this aint lust i know this is love

but if i tell the world
i'll never say enough
cos it was not said to you
and thats exactly what i need to do
if i end up with you

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there.
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere

i build myself up
and fly around in circles
waiting as my heart drops
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

or should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
[Chasing Pavements lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there.
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere

yeaaah ehh

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads no where,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place
should i leave it there

should i give up
or should i just keep on chasing pavements
should i just keep on chasing pavements

ohhhh ohh

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there

should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere